Well, I’m on the home stretch now; the finishing line very much in sight.
Nothing is quite as expected, though. From early on I had made my wish to die at home be known but here I am in a bed in the Alexandra Unit, which provides palliative care and is the nearest thing we have in Dumfries & Galloway region to hospice provision.
Anyway, the change of plans was my choice. At home, although they would take every possible care to have the drugs I would need when the pain became more severe, I wasn’t going to have someone 24/7 with the key to the locked cabinet. I didn’t want to behave all undignified if I couldn’t get my drugs!
I was mentally preparing some funny stories to share with you (like the woman who wanted a cleaning job but not when she was a bit busy near Christmas) but it’s late and I need to take my ‘breakthrough’ morphine dose (learning the lingo!) which I’ve delayed to get this wee post out there. I’ll try to remember them – not that I’ll be seeing my house again, dirty or otherwise.
My son is home. He came down after my weekend flight and decorated the Christmas tree and made such a lovely job I realised I should have had him doing it every year! I think I issued a challenge to him and his partner to a game of Rummy. And my sister’s dog is wondering why she’s never been invited on hospital visits before now. Patients have treats hidden all over the place!
Wishing each and every one of you a happy festival time and many thanks for all your support and love.
Mary Smith's Place 
Thank you, dear Mary. I wish you a good passage. What a remarkable life you’ve lived. You’ve helped so many people along the way, loved and been loved, and here you are, committing a loving act to people who will benefit from reading your diaries without even knowing you. Thanks for allowing us to share in your journey in a small way.
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Mary, when I visit Cairnsmore of Fleet visitor centre I always press the button and listen to your voice reading one of your poems. I will continue to do so and think of you.
I was tickled when you mentioned me in a credit for your Dumfries book with Keith. Although it was a minor help from me I was rather pleased with the mention.
Like your dad who I liked at the bowling, you have been easy going interesting company at tourism / town and Pilates meetings.
Reading this I would have been ripe for creative writing classes!
It’s a scunner.
Robin
x
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