MarySmith’sPlace ~ #CancerDiary#45 #FinishingLineinSight

Well, I’m on the home stretch now; the finishing line very much in sight.

Nothing is quite as expected, though. From early on I had made my wish to die at home be known but here I am in a bed in the Alexandra Unit, which provides palliative care and is the nearest thing we have in Dumfries & Galloway region to hospice provision.

Anyway, the change of plans was my choice. At home, although they would take every possible care to have the drugs I would need when the pain became more severe, I wasn’t going to have someone 24/7 with the key to the locked cabinet. I didn’t want to behave all undignified if I couldn’t get my drugs!

I was mentally preparing some funny stories to share with you (like the woman who wanted a cleaning job but not when she was a bit busy near Christmas) but it’s late and I need to take  my ‘breakthrough’ morphine dose (learning the lingo!) which I’ve delayed to get this wee post out there. I’ll try to remember them – not that I’ll be seeing my house again, dirty or otherwise.

My son is home. He came down after my weekend flight and decorated the Christmas tree and made such a lovely job I realised I should have had him doing it every year! I think I issued a challenge to him and his partner to a game of Rummy. And my sister’s dog is wondering why she’s never been invited on hospital visits before now. Patients have treats hidden all over the place!

Wishing each and every one of you a happy festival time and many thanks for all your support and love.

118 thoughts on “MarySmith’sPlace ~ #CancerDiary#45 #FinishingLineinSight

  1. Mary, it has been an honour to read your blog and to read the posts left here for you and your family. I came late to you and I am saddened by that. I wish you a peaceful journey, safe in the knowledge that there are many who love and admire you – I can see that from these messages – and I wish your family the strength to endure. Your tree is beautiful. Go gently and with love. xx

    Like

  2. The Christmas tree is lovely but it can’t hold a candle to your beautiful spirit. There are no words to thank you for including all of us on your generous and funny and deeply insightful journey. All my love my friend!

    Liked by 12 people

  3. Mary …your blogs have been an inspiration and I wish you all the very best. Glad to have known you. (for a very, very long time 😂)
    Merry Christmas! 🎄🎅🥳🙏💐🤩

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Dear Mary – it’s been such a privilege to have met you and to read about your courageous journey. The tree is beautiful and I’m glad your son got home. I’ll leave you with these words from Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe:
    ‘Over all the mountaintops is peace. In all the treetops you perceive scarcely a breath. The little birds in the forest are silent. Wait then; soon you, too, will have peace.’
    Love, Rosemary x

    Liked by 4 people

  5. As always, you are full of grace, wisdom, humor, all sprinkled with love. The love is returned to you many-fold. You are light, Mary, and as you enter the Light, know how blessed we all feel to have been touched by your words, your honesty, your belief in LIFE and the ever-after. With love, Pam

    Liked by 6 people

  6. Goodbye Mary. You have shown us all how to behave with dignity and courage. You have left a valued legacy of books and blogs. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I wish you all the strength in this world and the next . Sue x

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Dear Mary, I hardly know you and yet I have just shed many tears for you. I came to know of you fairly recently and am about to order one of your books and read of your adventures abroad. Just think, your wonderful deeds and words will go on and on and so will the essence of you, dear lady. Not everyone can claim that. Rest in peace. You will never be forgotten. Love Joy xx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have read through every comment here and my eyes have filled with tears. All these writers have somehow found the way to say goodbye with such love and appreciation. I’m a bit clumsy. But someone did thank you for allowing us to “be with you through this” and I feel that with all my heart. Thank you Mary. Your stories and your strength will stay with us all. Godspeed. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The comments here say so much about how much you mean to so many people. Thank you for your writing, which has brought so much pleasure – always heartfelt, entertaining, informative and filled with such warmth for the people you have met along the way. It’s been an absolute pleasure to know you. Sending so much love to you and your family – I wish you all a peaceful Christmas filled with love xxxxx

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Thank you Mary for your kindness and friendship. You seemed to have a smile for everyone. And it was gratifying to be able share the similar problems I had with my dad when you were writing your Goldfish posts. God bless. We will be thinking about you; right there with you in spirit, all of the way.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I cannot express my admiration for the strength you’ve shown during this whole stage, Mary. It’s been incredible and you have, not only been stoic but gracious in taking us along with you. Let’s put that long overdue catch up on hold, and one day, somewhere we’ll get that chat. Wishing you peace.
    Pam

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dear Mary, thank you for allowing me to play a part in this part of our journey. I’m truly blessed to have met you in person. I’m not saying goodbye, just ‘ta-ta’ for now. I look forward to meeting up with you again when I start my next journey. Don’t forget to look out for me when I arrive. I don’t know when it will be, but I will make sure that I carry you in my heart and my thoughts for the rest of the journey I have left here.
    Lots of love to you.
    xxxx

    Liked by 4 people

  13. It has been a privilege to know you Mary. I remember all the fun we had on our writing for film and theatre course. You have achieved so much personally and professionally since then. You’ve met this challenge head on and inspired so many people along the way. Take care and know that you will be missed. Much love. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Now I’m really shocked Mary! Please apologize for the fact that I read many of your postings late. Thank you for your generosity to be able to accompany you through your postings. I still don’t give up hope. It was a great honor for me to get to know you. Best wishes and greatest blessings! Michael

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Dear Mary, you have been a blessing to us all with your transparency. You’re an example for us to be brave and graceful. This is not a goodbye, as I said to my sister two years ago. This is to say, “See you again soon.” Please bring all the flowers, prayers, love, and warmth with you as you go to sleep. May you wake up to the brightest light and a place with no pain and no tears. May you be united with many loved ones who are welcoming you. The Christmas tree is beautiful and Merry Christmas to you! ❤ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Pingback: Snowy Peaks | #writephoto Flash Fiction for @marysmithwriter - Jemima Pett

  17. Beautiful tree. It’s good to know you have all your loved ones around you, even if you’re in hospital. I totally understand your decision, and I wish you a peaceful and calm time ahead, however long it might be. I’m reading Drunk Chickens and Burnt Macaroni at the moment, and I know your adventures and the people you met will stay with all your readers forever. Big hugs and thanks for sharing your life with us. ♥

    Liked by 2 people

  18. I hated pressing like on this blog, because I don’t like the thought you may be leaving us soon. This post made me cry. You have been so brave and an inspiration to so many of us. You are truly a special spirit in the world and you have no idea how many people you have helped. Please ask someone to collate My Dad is a Goldfish into a book and publish it. Another topic that will help so many others in a similar position. Love and hugs from Spain. xxx (((( ))))

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Mary, I’ve been aware of you and your writing and adventures for some time but it’s only recently I began reading your books and discovered what an amazing person you are. Your life is rich and varied and you met every challenge with grace and thoughtfulness. Such care is to be rewarded in this world and the next. Thank you for letting us into your world. I wish you a peaceful transition.

    Like

  20. Dear Mary, I’m so, so sorry to read your latest news, but please know that the dignity and humour you’ve shared through your blog posts is truly inspiring. I’m glad you are receiving the very best of care and wish you peace in the coming days. Rae x

    Like

  21. Dear Mary
    Hope you don’t mind but I’ve been keeping up to date on how you are by reading your blog .
    So missed you coming in for your hair appointments and telling me of your adventures and about David .
    You are in my thoughts . Send love and hugs ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I have only just discovered your presence on this beautiful Earth of ours Mary, and I’m so glad that I have. I have, for a long time, stated that I refuse to have any regrets because regret is a wasted emotion. I hold to that belief, but do so wish that I knew of you before now, just when you are preparing to leave your loved ones and all the marvellous things you have done. I wish you a smooth and peaceful transition to whatever lies ahead for you. We all have our own ideas and, having read a few of your posts, I just know that you are looking forward to a beautiful, loving, and tranquil future. May you be richly blessed, and, if it is not too presumptuous, I send you love and hugs. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s